the fighting you have when your not fighting

Sick. Not psyically sick. Just...sick. (i'm going to resort to crappy code names). A told L on the bus that she felt like I was shutting her out. I really couldn't care less at the moment. She was being enough of a smart-arse about it anyway. Gave me one of those stupid 'I-don't-care-because-I'm-better-than-you' looks she does all the time and just walked off the bus. I should probably be telling her this rather than putting it on the internet, but that'll just give her something to argue about.
It's not just her that does it. I should probably add that.
I feel sick all the time. I keep streesing myself and getting headaches. I find myself resenting the people I'm around so much I feel like vomiting. At least they've started to notice I'm not acting normal. Not sure if thats really good or not.
Anyways, now L (getting sick of the intials...) now knows that his 'bestest buddy' is pissing the shit out of me. I shouldn't blame him, and I'm not sure I do, it just seems like people choose him over me everytime there's a chance. I can't change that, so whats the point of saying anything?

I hate my sister. Treats me like I'm a dog. She couldn't tell a stick from a pencil. The whore eats twice as much as me, and then asks me why I eat all the food in the house. All I want to do is sleep. Not to sound to dramatic but when I'm asleep I can't sit in selfishness, crying over why I'm always second best. I honestly thought at the beginning of the year I had people who like me. I'll just blame it on myself, that's what I do. That's what makes sense...

the thinking

At home. Had a headache this morning and didn't really feel like going to school and putting up with shit from people who supposedly like me. That is until someone better comes along.
Moving on, I'm watching The Big Bang Theory on that new Go! channel. I never really realised how much I liked it. Especially the theme song. Facts put into a humourous verse, I'd have to like it. It's clever and I get it, makes me feel smart.

I've decided to do this blog thing seriously. And I promise to write anything and everything I'm thinking about. Like right now I'm looking at my boobs as I type. Hmm, classy.

I'm waiting for Loui's party, sorry, partay. It should be fun. I've never really like parties though. It's either mine and I'm the centre of attention (which I hate) or it's someone elses and I'm with the small group, talking quietly in the corner. Not that that's a bad thing, Bridget's party was made more enjoyable because of quiet talking in the corner. Or crying under a clothes line.I wish I could lose a little fat off my arms. Going off on a tangent.
In the end, what ever I do will end up in irrelevent words on the internet.

the start

I've decided to create a bloggy thing (obviously) to try and keep my blogging, or absence of, separate from my myspacing in hope to compel myself to write stuff down again. Because I kind of like it.

If your looking at this and wondering what the hell is up with my blog's title, the answer is: I'm not really sure either. It has basically no relevance to anything other than what the display on my tv said at the exact time that I was looking for a new and exciting Twitter username. A feeble attempt to add colour and movement. Before I start, I should warn you that my 'style', I guess you could call it, of writing is a vibrant mix of both proper english featuring a number of big words and some strange words that I've made up and use in my everyday communicationing.

The main reason I decided to spontaniously start a blog is because of Loui's complaining about only having one follower. I am now his second.

I like writing on the internet because it's like a mumble. It's there for anyone to hear when you don't really want to tell anyone. That, and my computer's in my room so it kind of feels like it really is mine, posting it from where I spend the majority of my time. Alone and thinking. I like thinking, even though I tend not to frequently.

I could go into paragraphs analysing myself, but then you'd get bored and wont read it anymore. That and I have no idea where to begin. I don't find myself in anyway remarkable and therefore don't know if there is anything really different enough to tell people. I'm human and I'm blogging, thats all you really need to know.